A Definite Shift


This week I have felt very much in a tug of war between ‘doing’ and ‘pursuing.’ I am a very goal-oriented person and I love my to-do list. While I was in therapy last year, one of my tasks was to go a week with my to-do list, and it was not good. I was a wreck and felt absolutely lost the entire week. I’m glad I had that week off, because when I went back to it, I didn’t feel as married to it as I had been. Now, my to-do list only has a few items per day instead of dozens.


The silver lining that came with lock down was being able to slow down. I didn’t realize how tired and burned out I was until I was forced to just stop. Even with nothing to do, internally I was still operating at a fever pitch which led me to anxiety attacks and eventually, therapy. While in therapy one of my tasks was to go a week with my to-do list, and it was not good. I was a wreck and felt absolutely lost the entire week. I’m glad I had that week off, though, because when I went back to it, I didn’t feel as married to it as I had been. Now, my to-do list only has a few items per day instead of dozens.


Now that we are emerging from Covid and restrictions are being lifted, do I want things to go back to the way they were pre-pandemic? Do I want to be running all over the UK, dragging my sound equipment from venue to venue? It would be so easy for me to look up my old booking contacts and fill my diary full of Tribute and Motown Shows but will that bring me joy. I finally feel like I’m back to singing for the pure thrill of it. I’m remembering how it physically feels to produce those notes coming through my vocal cords and out of my mouth. I’m once again experiencing the pride of singing my own songs and having the audience dig them. Most of all, I am really enjoying being a part of the local music scene.

Before Covid, very few of my gigs were in the Portsmouth area. Now, they all are and I’m loving that. Frankie & Glo, my acoustic duo, have just today been offered a last-minute slot at the Icebreaker Festival happening this coming Saturday and we are thrilled to be a part of this epic event.


There is a definite shift in how I want to live the rest of my life, and it really is as simple as only doing the things that I really want to do. This means that I will be saying ‘no’ a lot more. I was watching a documentary on Netflix yesterday about feminism and Jane Fonda said that she only just recently learned that ‘no’ is a complete sentence. I had to say an amen to that!


I am also cool with being a local artist and being a part of the local music scene and community, which is so vibrant in Portsmouth. Through my affiliations with Mayfield Records and ExpressFM Radio Station, as well as performing at local venues and events, I really feel like I’m a part of something precious and special.


At this point in my life, I think I am more interested in doing than pursuing, it’s just taking my mind a minute to adjust. But adjust it will, because doing what I want as opposed to pursuing what I want feels more organic and under my own control. It’s just a matter of me letting go. If I can let go of pursuing, the inner battle will be over. I’m nearly there.


Frankie & Glo will be performing at Back to the Belgrave at 2:15pm for the Icebreaker Festival.


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