Real Talk

Okay, real talk.

Some days I just don’t feel good enough. Most days in fact. Do you ever feel that way? How do you work through it?

Never feeling good enough is a heavy burden, it weighs me down to the point of exhaustion. I really admire those people who just do things their own way without trying to figure out what people might dig, or want, and I’ve learned a lot from just observing them.

I am finally evolving into a performer who creates just for the sake of it. The thrill of it. Making art for its own sake. It’s been a very long road to get here, and the journey continues. Last night I was singing at a local venue and for the first time in a long time I was lost in the sheer enjoyment of feeling the notes come through my body and out of my mouth, and coupled with the amazing accompaniment by Frankie, I wasn’t worried about the audiences response. At times, it felt like it was just Frankie and me in the room. I wasn’t concerned with every note being perfect because I was truly feeling what I was singing, and that’s been a minute. The hubs said that it looked like Frankie and I were really enjoying ourselves. He was not wrong. We were having a blast.

As I’m getting older, I’m not quite sure where I fit in the music scene, especially when I am performing at gigs where I appear to be the oldest performer there. I was even wondering if I still have the right to be dreaming and pursuing, because maybe I am past my sell-by date. But somehow l just keep going. The desire to create is so strong that it propels me past the imposter syndrome. I’m learning to use all of my experience with successes and failures to stand in my own power, my own beauty, and fully occupy my own space.

A few years ago I felt like I had lost what was my own voice. After years of performing tribute shows my voice got buried. It’s been three years of digging to unearth my true voice. It’s changed over the years, it’s matured, and I’m finding comfort in it. So for as long as I have breath in my body I’m just going to keep being who I am, and that is a creator, a voice, and a force to be reckoned with. Because even on those days that I don’t feel good enough, the real me somehow shines through.

I would love to hear your thoughts and advice on what I’ve said. I welcome hearing from you and sharing ideas!

6 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All